Think twice before ringing the school

A friend sent me an mp3 which will ring true (almost literally) in more places than Sydney or any bush school. It will almost certainly ring true, mutatis mutandis, for any school anywhere in the world - so long as they have a phone! Below, a transcript. Read on and tell me if it's not true elsewhere!

"Hullo! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in reaching the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making your selection:
- To lie about why your child is absent, press 1.
- To make excuses about why your child did not do his homework, press 2.
- To complain about what we do, press 3.
- To swear at staff members, press 4.
- To ask why you did not get information that has been enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers that have been mailed to you, press 5.
- If you want to us to raise your child, press 6.
- If you want to reach out to touch, slap or hit someone, press 7.
- If you want to request another teacher (for the third time this year) press 8.
- If you want to complain about bus transportation, press 9.
- If you want to complain about school lunches, press 0.
If you realise this is the real world and your child must be responsible for his or her behaviour, class work and homework and that it's not the teacher's fault for your child's lack of effort, hang up and have a nice day!
If you want this in another language, move to a country that speaks it . Thank you for your interest in public education.

[Note - I can't reproduce in writing the quiet venom with which the second last sentence is spoken, reflecting a debate that has gone on in the country at the highest levels, on the importance of people who have chosen to live in this country learning and speaking its language].

1 comment

Comment from: admin  

First response came in from a Salesian Bishop wondering if he might offer a list of responses from the episcopal office!

03/10/09 @ 11:06